i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
