so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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