apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
