My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
