Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
