Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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