Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
