May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
