it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize