The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
