haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
