Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
