I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
