Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
