Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
