erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
