she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
