I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
