I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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