I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
