There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
