and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
