i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
