If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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