I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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