what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
