sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize
