We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
