She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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