i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
