Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
