Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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