Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
