She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
