Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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