let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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