i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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