They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
