I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
