Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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