you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
