we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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