Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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