there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I need moral support for this bender
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
