And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
