doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
