i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
