I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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