i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
