Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
