i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
