lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize