So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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