the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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