i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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