Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
