he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
