and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
