I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Randomize
